We were escorted into a private room where we could try and get our heads around what we had just been told. I then felt like I just had to deal with the situation head on. I couldn’t cry for another hour or two, I had to face the facts and find out the next steps.
The consultant came into the room to ask if we wanted to have the amniocentesis test (as we had already lost the baby there was no risk of miscarrying any longer) we wanted this to give us every chance to find out why? That was our only question.
I’m not exactly scared of needles and even though my baby had already past away inside me, I was petrified of the whole procedure!
7.5cm needle entering my uterus!
To take fluid from around my dead baby to be sent off for testing. The procedure was fairly quick and before we knew it we were taken to another room to talk to more doctors.
They explained I had a missed miscarriage meaning the baby had passed away however my body had not hit the stage of miscarrying. Due to this they had to give me two tablets to bring on the miscarriage. These tablets could take up to 48 hours to work.
I was sent home with my dead baby inside me for 60 hours!
I think i was genuinely in shock at this stage, we went home explained what was happening to our families and just sat at home for the next two days in front of the tv preparing ourselves for what was going to happen.
Why us? What was wrong with our baby?
The night before heading back to the hospital our consultant phoned us to see how I was doing and to give us the results of our amniocentesis – Edwards Syndrome – Triosomy 18. A rare genetic condition which can be life threatening. We finally had our answer why. We were so glad we had an explanation, so many expectant mums are not all fortunate to be given an explanation which can be hard to live with. More importantly I was pleased to understand why so I could back to hospital with a better understanding and clearly mindset.
16 Weeks Pregnant – Being Induced
Returning to hospital, as the previous tablets hadn’t set my body to miscarry I had to be induced. We had prepared ourselves mentally for this day, we knew this could be a long process. Throughout the next two days I stayed positive and cheery, in my head I just wanted this to be over so we could move on mentally and physically.
After being in labour for seven hours I finally gave birth to our Charlie Harman (born sleeping) Saturday 6th December 2014 at 17:30.
Seeing my dead baby was not heart breaking for me, it was seeing my partner cry when it happened. Charlie was taken away for a minute to be put into a small wicker basket and a fluffy blanket to be bought back so we could spend some time together. After a while the midwives came back and took Charlie away to the morgue.
I thought it was all over however the midwives had made me aware previously due to being only 16 weeks pregnant my placenta may not deliver naturally.
Another 6 hours had past, my body still thought I was in labour and the pain was getting worse, I hadn’t taken any pain relief at this point so asked what my options were.
By this point it was 11pm, I was examined by one of the doctors who confirmed my placenta was being stubborn and was not detaching from my uterus. I finally caved and decided a D&C operation was my only option. They came back and advised they could not operate in the early hours due to less staff and incase of emergency, so would operate first thing tomorrow.
Due to the circumstances they offered me morphine. One of the best feelings in the world (in that situation) I could finally get some rest after 14 hours of pain.
I can not praise the NHS enough for everything they did for us starting from our 12 week scan to our consultant referfal and the labour of our 16 week old fetous. They set up a bed for my partner next to my bed and we finally got some sleep with my morphine being topped up at 4am
8am came around and the doctors were ready for my operation, the D&C (the removal of my placenta) this was carried out which was successful. I was finally done with this part of our journey and just wanted to move on.
We then had two weeks to decide on our dead baby’s name and arrange the funeral.